Forming routines with dementia is easy so long as you form those routines while demented. As a general rule, demented routines are easier to remember and follow than normal routines. Normal routines require the use of GTD software, Franklin Covey planners, a daily reminder app with notifications turned on, and copious sticky notes. Demented routines, however, require only your neural failings and a relatively simple floorplan for your apartment.

Step 1: Wake up. Go to the bathroom. Wet your toothbrush. Squeeze toothpaste — make sure it’s toothpaste! — onto the toothbrush. Find your cat. Gently scrub the cat’s hindquarters and tail with the toothpaste until well lathered.

Step 2: Pour fish food into a cereal bowl. Add milk. (Optional: Pour contents of bowl into ficus tree pot.)

Step 3: Turn on television. Zone out.

Step 4: Pick up telephone. Dial nephew. Talk as long as possible about dead relatives until you a hear a dial tone. 

Step 5: Naptime!

Step 6: Dust the Christmas decorations. It helps to hum a little tune while doing this. Any little tune will do.

Step 7: Answer the door for the nice man from Meals on Wheels. Eat the food. He will not leave until you eat all the food.

Step 8: Do a crossword puzzle to keep the mind sharp. The kitchen tiles come in handy. Try to use pencil instead of a permanent marker. You’re not as sharp as your Sharpie days, you know.

Step 9: Turn off television. Zone out.

Step 10: Take off the day’s nightgown and put on a fresh one for tonight. Cleanliness first. Repair to bed for the evening.

Tips: If you find that you’ve put away the Christmas decorations, a fun project to break up the routine is to get them back out and set them up.

Warnings: After step 10, the nightmares will come.